


Coming Out Genderally

by aesthetic_shitpost



Series: meremine fics [7]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Genderflux Character, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 21:19:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11216484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesthetic_shitpost/pseuds/aesthetic_shitpost
Summary: Jeremy took a deep breath. And another. And another. Courage was hard to find in life-changing moments like these without knowing the outcome.-exactly what the title says





	Coming Out Genderally

**Author's Note:**

> character genders/sexualities in series description
> 
> while i am nonbinary, my gender is not fluid, so if i explained anything wrong just let me know and i'll fix it.

**Seventh Grade**

 

Jeremy fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he tried to figure out what to say. He was sitting in Michael's basement, playing video games. Michael had just left to get snacks. He was sure to come back any minute now, and Jeremy couldn't keep it a secret any longer. Sure enough, he entered the room less than a minute later, and Jeremy still had to figure out exactly what to say and how to explain it to him, but he was still going to do it. He had to. 

 

“M-michael?” He stuttered quietly.

 

“Yeah?” Michael looked over at him and seemed to notice for the first time how nervous his friend was. “Hey, are you okay? You look really keyed up about something.”

 

“I - I need to tell you something.” Jeremy's heart was about ready to explode out of his chest with how fast it was beating.

 

Michael sat down next to him. “Alright, hit me.”

 

Jeremy took a deep breath. And another. And another. Courage was hard to find in life-changing moments like these without knowing the outcome.

 

“Hey, you don't need to tell me. If it's making you this anxious, you can wait, or you don't have to tell me at all,” Michael offered.

 

It was tempting, but Jeremy couldn't take it. “No. I -” He let out a shaky exhale. “I  _ have _ to tell you.”

 

“Okay,” his friend replied. He waited for a bit, but Jeremy still didn't say anything. “K -”

 

“Don't call me that!” The boy burst out. Realizing what he had said, he curled back in on himself and muttered, “Just, don't. Please.” 

 

“Um, okay. What should I call you instead?” 

 

He knew that this was the point of no return. “Jeremy.” He avoided his eyes. “My name is Jeremy.”

 

“Jeremy?” He curled even further in on himself. “That's a nice name.” Shocked, his head shot up. Michael's eyes were calm and understanding, not a trace of hatred or disgust present. 

 

Shakily, Jeremy smiled. “Thanks,” He whispered.

 

“Is this what you wanted to tell me?” Michael asked.

 

His friend nodded. 

 

“C’mere.” He opened his arms for a hug, and his friend only hesitated a little before hugging him back. His arms closed around him, wrapping him in a warm embrace.

 

“This won't change anything,” He said into Jeremy's hair. “You're still my best friend. It doesn't matter if you're a boy instead of a girl, you're still you and that's what matters.”

 

Jeremy felt tears prickling at the corners if his eyes. “Thank you,” He said into Michael's shirt. “You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”

 

-oOo-

 

**Freshman Year**

 

Michael closed xyr computer, not feeling any more confident about coming out to Jeremy than before. Xe had been on numerous websites and blogs that had advice about coming out, but xe still didn’t have a clue on how to come out to xyr friend. Even though he was also not cis, that didn’t mean that he knew what nonbinary genders were or that he would accept them. And adding that xe still sometimes felt like a boy, the chances of Jeremy accepting xem were ever lower. Xe sighed and looked at xyr clock. It was nearly time to go over to Jeremy’s house.

 

An hour later, the friends were sitting in Jeremy’s room, playing video games as usual. Jeremy’s dad called up to them from the bottom of the stairs.

 

“Boys! You guys doing okay up there?”

 

“Yeah, dad!” Jeremy yelled back down. Michael could see the joy that came with being called a boy, even after over a year to get used to it. In contrast, xe curled in on xemself at the reminder that that was what everyone still thought xe was: a boy. And xe still had yet to come out to Jeremy. Oh god, Jeremy. What if he had seen xyr reaction just then? Xe didn’t know what xe’d do if that -

 

“Michael?” Reluctantly, xe turned to face xyr friend. His eyes were concerned. “Are you okay?”

 

_ Oh god. What do I say? Do I want to do this now, or - _ “I’m fine,” Michael said.

 

Jeremy frowned. “You didn’t look like you were fine.”

 

“Well, I am,” Xe said.

 

Jeremy still looked skeptical, but he let it go and they went back to playing video games.

 

About an hour later, Jeremy’s dad called up to them again.

 

“Boys, Michael’s parents want him home by six!” This time, xyr flinch was more pronounced, both because of the repetition and the wrong pronouns.

 

Jeremy put down his controller. “Okay, something’s wrong.”

 

“Boys!” His dad hollered up. Michael flinched again. “Did you hear me?” 

 

“Yeah!” Jeremy yelled, then walked over and closed his door. He took a seat next to Michael on his bed. “Why were you flinching like that? And don’t say that you’re fine again, because I know that you’re not.”

 

Michael deliberated with xemself.  _ Should I tell him? Well, I was going to anyways (eventually) and he would probably know if I lied…  _

 

“It was -” Xe started, voice nearly a whisper. Xe cleared xyr throat and tried again. “It was him calling us boys,” Xe said. “Cause I’m not.”

 

“Okay,” Jeremy said. “So, you’re a girl? You’re trans like me?”

 

Michael sighed.  _ Here comes the hard part. _ “No,” Xe said. “I’m not a girl or a boy.”

 

Jeremy furrowed his brow. “So you’re… something in between? I didn’t know that was a thing,” He admitted.

 

“Um, I wouldn’t say in between…” Xe said. Seeing the confused look on Jeremy’s face, xe decided to try to not to confuse him anymore. Xe exhaled. “Okay, so there’s this big umbrella term called ‘nonbinary’, which means anyone who isn’t one hundred percent boy or girl one hundred percent of the time. You can just use it as your only gender label, but there’s loads of genders that fit under the nonbinary umbrella. Are you following me so far?” Xe asked. 

 

Jeremy nodded. 

 

“Okay, so some people’s genders don’t change and are simply a gender outside of the binary, or they don’t have a gender, and some people’s genders are fluid. That’s called ‘genderfluid’. Genderfluid people can be fluid between any different genders, and there are a lot of terms for specifics under that umbrella, which is where my gender falls under,” Xe explained. “I identify as genderflux, which means that my gender changes in intensity. A good analogy I’ve seen between genderfluid and genderflux is that genderfluid is like light that can change color and genderflux is like a dimmer. Does - does that make sense?”

 

Jeremy nodded again.

 

“So for me, I flux between male and agender, which is when you have no gender. I mean, there are some days when I’m kinda in between, but usually it’s one or the other.”

 

“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Jeremy said. “You’re fluid between male and agender, so like masculine and neutral, and that’s called genderflux? And overall that’s called being nonbinary?”

 

“Basically.”

 

“Okay,” Jeremy said. “Oh, wait, what pronouns should I use for you?”

 

“Um, on my more masculine days I’m fine with he/him, but on more agender days like today, I use xe/xem/xyr pronouns?”

 

Jeremy’s face registered a lot of confusion. “You use what?”

 

“Xe/xem/xyr/xyrs/xemself.” Michael spelled them out for him. “I know you probably think that they’re made up, but lots of nonbinary people use neopronouns and this is actually one of the more popular sets, so -”

 

“No no no, dude, it’s fine. I’ll totally use the right pronouns, I just need to know how to conjugate them. I know how shitty it feels to be misgendered, you know? I wouldn’t do that to you,” Jeremy said. Suddenly, he looked alarmed. “Oh wait, should I not call you dude? Is that bad? Cause I can totally stop if you want me to.”

 

Michael smiled. “No, I’m fine with you calling me dude. I know that it’s, like, a gender-neutral dude, you know?” Xe took a breath. “Okay, so pronouns. When I was first getting used to them, I found it easiest to think of they/them pronouns, because my pronouns are conjugated in a similar way, cause it goes xe/xem/xyr like they/them/their. So, if wanted to say ‘xe was happy,’ I would think ‘they were happy.’ And then, like, ‘that belongs to them’ would turn into ‘that belongs to xem,’ and ‘that’s their jacket’ would be ‘that’s xyr jacket.’ And then, uh, ‘they looked at themself’ would be ‘xe looked at xemself.’” Xe looked at xyr friend. “Does that make sense? I can, like, write it down if that would help. Oh, and I can give you a few links to pronoun practice websites if you want.”

 

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, send me those links later. So, tell me if I got this right,” He cleared his throat. “I will love and support my best friend in all xyr endeavors because xe’s my friend and I want to see xem succeed and feel proud of xemself.”

 

Michael blushed. “Y-yeah, you got it.”

 

“You know I mean it, right? Like, you’re my best friend, and that means a lot to me,” He said. 

 

“I know,” Xe replied quietly. “Thank you. For accepting me.”

 

He pulled xem into a hug. “Don’t be silly, man, of course I accepted you. I know how hard it is to come out about your gender. I remember how scared I was when I came out to you. I’m not gonna be a dick and say that you’re not valid or whatever shit you were afraid of.”

  
Michael snuggled further into the embrace and smiled. This had turned out better than xe had ever let xemself dream of.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tunglr: aroacethetic-shitpost


End file.
